


Lost Queen's Diary

by EggsEgghead



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Confessions, Deal with a Devil, Diary/Journal, Dungeons & Dragons Character Backstory, Gen, I like writing character backstories, Implied/Referenced Suicide, POV First Person, Regret, Revenge, Runa is a fave of mine because her fate is canonically sealed, Self-Exile, Something I wrote on a whim at 1am, Suicide, Survivor Guilt, she dies in the end regardless of story, she makes me sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27353527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EggsEgghead/pseuds/EggsEgghead
Summary: An old journal beaten and worn from many journies, found on the body of an armored noble. The bulk of these entries document the life of a disgruntled princess, living in an unnamed kingdom. The state of the kingdom is never mentioned until the very last entry, where everything is revealed.





	Lost Queen's Diary

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little thing I wanted to write for myself.

_ An old journal beaten and worn from many journies, found on the body of an armored noble. Many of the entries are old and yellowed with age. The pages of this journal have seen better days, many dirtied and even bloodied. The bulk of these entries document the life of a disgruntled princess, living in an unnamed kingdom. The journal documents a long war, devastating plague that threatened the kingdom and killed the kings, and a famine that was starving the kingdom's citizens. _

_ Several pages appear to have been torn from the journal, erasing months of the princess's history. It picks up again to document her travels away from the kingdom. The state of the kingdom is never mentioned until the very last entry, where everything is revealed: _

_ (The date of this entry is illegible) _

I feel as if this will be my last entry. I'm growing weary and I fear I haven't much time left. I suppose I should keep the legacy of my land alive. I cannot let it die with me.

I am  ~~ Princess ~~ Queen Runa Graves. I kept a watchful eye over the war torn, diseased, starving land left to me by my fathers. They ruled it well but not even a careful eye and loving hand can stop a war, a sickness, a famine. They succumbed to disease. I was young, barely a woman, but I was Queen and I had to fix my kingdom or lose everything my fathers worked so hard to cultivate and grow.

The war came first. Squabbles between allies and enemies thrust us into a war we wanted no part of. We were never meant to fight but we couldn't lose our allies. They had helped us grow and we owed them a large debt. Supplies went to the war effort, our people could hardly feed their families. When the plague rolled through, we were unprepared. It struck quickly. Our physicians and clerics couldn't keep up. For every person healed, another three died. And despite the kingdom's most notable physicians, my fathers grew ill. And they didn't improve, just like many others in the kingdom. And they died. At least they had each other.

I had no experience running a kingdom and every day I'm grateful for my advisors. We worked tirelessly to provide for the people. For a while, we seemed to be combating all of our problems. But then the war took a turn and our allies needed us more than ever. It strained resources, required more healers. We were left with nothing.

I prayed every day for some kind of help, some kind of divine intervention. I lost countless hours to my prayers. I had always been devout. But no matter how long I prayed, how many pleas I sent to the gods, things got worse. My prayers fell on deaf ears. I knew I needed a more direct method. I didn't have time to wait for a god to answer me. So when the devil came to me and offered me his aid, I said yes. I signed his contract.

He didn't require payment at the time of the signing. We received his aid. His soldiers, his medicines, his food. Everything we needed, we got. The kingdom began to heal. The people were no longer dying from disease and starvation, the tides of war were turning in our favor. The people called me a hero. But I sat on that guilt quietly. Not even my closest advisors knew of what I had done, they were convinced I had allied our kingdom with another in discreet discussions. I suppose that was partially true. But devils don't offer their aid for free. The price of help was more costly than I could imagine.

The devil came to me before I lost everything. He told me it was time to pay. And the price? My kingdom. He had helped us rebuild so he could claim it as his own. I couldn't fight back. My army was largely his troops, my people were not warriors. His army flooded my kingdom and made it theirs. Violently. I was forced to flee with Wayne. We traveled through the castle's secret tunnels to avoid the bloodshed but when we surfaced, we still had to make our way to the city gates. Wayne died as we fought to the gates. Had it not been for the sword and armor he gifted to me, I would have died alongside him. I will never forget the fear in his eyes as he was struck down, the way he shouted for me to run. I lost my best friend that day.

Since then, I vowed to get back at the devil that slighted me. I swore I would find him and get my land back. I spent much of my displacement writing my own contract. It was a simple one. We would fight. If I won, he would have to pull his army from my kingdom and it would be mine again. If I failed, I offered him my life along with the kingdom.

Frankly, I don't want the kingdom anymore. I guess this part of my writing is devoted to my will. I don't want to be the Queen any longer. I can't go back to the mess I made. I can't go on ruling with that guilt. To this day, no one knows what I did. I can't carry that guilt throughout my life as a ruler. And so, I hope that this reaches someone who can take my place. That they will love my broken kingdom like my fathers had all that time ago. I don't even intend to live to see my kingdom again. I've burnt my bridges and now I exile myself. I suppose this is a confession of my crimes. It doesn't make the guilt any less heavy to carry.

The contract was served. The battle was won, clearly. Not without help, but it was won. I've thanked my friends, gifted them all of the gold I had left. I've no need for it. And now, I sit. I'm afraid I've reached the end of my quest and I don't plan to travel much more. I've no desire to. I've already poisoned my wine and the glass is half empty. I feel tired. I suppose justice has been served. I offer one final prayer, now, in my final moments. I just pray for my kingdom, my people. I want it to be known that I was no hero, no martyr. I can only hope that my kingdom will live on without me.

But for now, I'll rest. Hopefully, it will be my last.


End file.
